Simply Weasels: Weasel Bios
Dave Shouse - Keyboards
Dave was born and raised in Wichita KS. He was exposed to music at an early age, as his parents and older brother had a large variety of records. Some of his favorites were the comedy albums of Bill Cosby, Bob Newhart, and The Smothers Brothers. The first "45" he purchased for himself was "The Chipmunk Song".
One day he turned it over to see what was on the flip side and discovered "Almost Good" by Dave Brubeck. His love for humor, music, and little furry creatures has been brought to fruition through his association with the Weasels. Or maybe it was the fact that his nanny who only had one arm repeatedly dropped him on his head. Either way he's just glad to be alive.
Craig Simon - Head Weasel, Guitar
I was into music when I was young, wanting to be a songwriter and musician. I tried to gain inspiration from some of the greatest: Beatles, Dylan, Jim Stafford. But nothing seemed work until I went to the Monterey Pop festival in 1967. The Who's guitarist Peter Townsend, had just smashed his guitar and a huge chunk of it went flying into my head. When I woke up from my coma, I had songs running all through my brain. All I had to do was just write them down. Learning the guitar took a little longer and all I could figure out was the key of E.
I have noticed as time passes, the songs are not coming to me as easily. Hmmmm. What should I do? What should I do?
Fred Canning (FreddyMac) - Engineer, Guitarist and Prophet
Fred was adopted at a young age by a Portuguese adventurer who belonged to an order of agnostic monks. Although his general personality was often described as irritable, blustering or truculent and in spite of his appearance, being a short, squat man with a large head and deep-set eyes, flat nose and a thin beard, he was said to be a handsome, persistent negotiator and not at all pitiless.
This early experience fostered Fred’s expertise as an explorer, diplomat and spy, notably in eastern Africa. This culminated in 1969 during his successful efforts to undertake an exploratory diplomatic venture as part of Portugal's effort to break the Venetian hold on commerce with the East resulting in an unusual alliance with the mysterious kingdom of John, the legendary priest-king, who was reputed to be somewhere in Africa, India, or China.
Fred’s background made him a desirable candidate for the daunting requirements of Weasel engineer, mix master, prophet and guitarist. In spite of moving to Kansas City and joining an Arabic caravan in the disguise of a Moslem pilgrim, he was discovered and recruited in the 1980’s for his valuable and useful expertise in procurement of expensive recording equipment. As a dual agent, often in grave danger, he sent many secret messengers to King John with detailed reports of his Weasel reconnaissance. His firsthand knowledge of Weasel techniques and secrets, previously known only to a few Moorish traders, now made it possible for anybody to become a musician and form their own successful band. However, he is still waiting for a response and his next assignment.
While the other Weasels are often served dainties on silver platters, Fred prefers to be served only meat on wooden plates. He enjoys winter wonderlands and long walks during the dark of night in the company of busty booze toting women schooled in mythology and folklore
Norb Stracker - Bass Guitar, Synthesizers and Band Vulcanizer
Norb grew up in Ossining (the home of Sing Sing prison), New York on Buddy Holly, Everly Brothers, Stones, Beatles, Paul Revere and the Raiders, Yankees, Mets, Giants and Jets…and watching “Where the Action Is”, “The Soupy Sales Show” and “Fractured Flickers”. He played clarinet and bass clarinet from elementary school through high school…as a young teenager attended many great concerts in New York City: Cream, Who, Muddy Waters, Jefferson Airplane, Joe Cocker, Moby Grape and Doors, parents wouldn’t let him go to Woodstock...however, he did go to a Monkees Concert where Jimi Hendrix was the opening act. Norb played in garage bands, “Remains” and “Thunder” in middle school and high school. He got his first glimpse of full frontal nudity when he went to see “Hair” on Broadway…his high school English teacher was in cast of X-rated “Oh, Calcutta” on Broadway. College (Mizzou) found him studying (occasionaly) Pre-Veterinary Medicine, learning classical guitar and studying piano….more concerts (chick) Carpenters, Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, and falling in love with Bobbi. As adult, was an Air Traffic Controller until Reagan fired his ass for striking!…then expanded his microcomputer hobby to a vocation. Adult musicianship has been mainly associated with church/worship related ensembles…with an occasional gig with the NKC High School’s Harmonaire Parents. Recent concerts: Billy Joel, Turtles, Clapton, Paul Simon, Dixie Chicks, Elton John, John Prine and Metropolitan Youth Orchestra (where son, Bud, plays an awesome cello). Replaced his ’87 Aspencade with a 2002 Kubota L35 Tractor/Backhoe. (He’s REALLY getting old!) Met Craig at church about 15 years ago and started sharing their music…Craig's music was much better than Norb's…Simply Weasels!
Phil Chiarelli (Dr. Phil, Rico) - Lead Guitar and Band Proctologist
Phil 's been playing guitar since Hector was a pup. (That's a long time.) He began his musical career as a lute player many, many years ago in the court of an unknown king in a land far away. He escaped this inescapable situation by posing as a leper that was willing to donate himself to science. He was taken to an alchemist that discovered his secret and threatened to expose him if he did not agree to assist in discovering the source of flatulence. These studies led to Phil's renown as a proctologist and seer into deep dark passages. After awhile, Phil realized he needed some fresh air and a new fart, oops, I mean start. His search for a new scent, I mean scene, led him to the Northland area where he found Nirvana and returned to his passion for music. Not finding anyone in need of a lute player he turned to guitar and was quickly espied by the Weasels. He is now at home with the scent of Weasel and his guitar to keep him company...A happy end for this wandering troubador...
Mike Schard (Sharky) - Weasel Master Beater
"Build it and he will come." A familiar refrain from the corn fields of Iowa. It is from there that our drummer, Mike Schard (a/k/a Sharky, a/k/a Schardo, a/k/a that sweaty drummer guy), hails. Making his way to Kansas City from Iowa was no easy task. Alas, no one in Kansas City built anything to which he came. Nay saith me, Mike was abducted in his blissful Iowan sleep by roaming Jesuits looking for defensless, corn fed waifs needing a spirutual guidance. He was wisked away to Kansas City where he was institutionalized in a rock hard Jesuit stronghold. There he studied scripture, drank beer, played golf and bowled until the Jezzies determined he was ready for the world or at least IBM. However, while in the institution Mike rediscovered his love of beating things, a talent developed on those long lonely Iowan winter nights. Starting with his head against brick walls and progressing to the drum, Mike just loved to beat, beat, beat....He spent many nights beating that drum, drinking that beer and generally living the life of a good beater. As the years went by and the beatings diminished Mike fell into a lull. He pined for the days of providing that pulsating, throbbing sound and sought new opprtunities to beat. And one day it happened. He got THE CALL...It was a divine call, a life changing call, a Weasel call. The Weasels were looking for just the right combination of experience and sweat in a drummer. Mike filled the bill. He has now fullfilled his promise, his destiny, reached his Nirvana....He is the Weasel Master Beater!!
Nichelle Unterreiner (Hazel, Nicole) - A Weird Wolf in Sexy Weaselette's Clothing
Hazel was born in Fort Worth, Texas and promptly sold to the highest bidder. The Priestly family snatched her up for mere pocket change. She then embarked on the journey known as life. It took her to many different places such as Illinois, Colorado, and finally Kansas City. This is where she dug her claws in.
Hazel is married to a wonderful, understanding, patient man named Mark. She has two daughters, two dogs, one cat and an attitude. It was at this time in her life that she came upon Norb. He discovered her howling at the moon one hot summer night. He reluctantly asked her to sing with the Weasels.
They sure don't know what they got themselves into, but will eventually find out.
Toby Proctor (The Man) - Business Manager
Growing up on the Jersey Shore, hanging out at the Stone Pony, my influences are fresh off the bad streets. When I was born to run, turning left at the light and driving straight into the night, being blinded by the light. I found that 10th Avenue was frozen over and headed to Ann Arbor Michigan. It was there, checking out every bar (and I mean every bar) on Main Street, he discovered that he should of really been on Ann Street if he wanted to find that long, lovely dancer at a little club downtown. However, with the help of Dave Plummer (from the famous speed metal band Typhoid Mary), James Bruce (Bruin) King (whereabouts unknown) and the rest of the Team, they proceeded to turn every page, go to Katmandu, become part of the UMC, get out of Denver, and actually attend many Frank Zappa concerts. After being asked to leave by the State of Michigan, Clemson University called and said they were missing their village idiot and wanted to know if Toby was available. After 4 years of beer drinking with the amazing architect Scott Disher, Think Tank Engineer Phil Rash, the Rev. Mark Smith, CB, Petey, Boom-Boom Ronnie Boykin, the Little Sisters and his Brothers at Theta Chi, watching the Grand and Glorious Clemson Tigers win almost all of their football games, briefly studying, being a DJ on WSBF and playing all the Velvet Underground any one person could stand; he was handed his walking papers by R.C. Edwards and told to go get a job.
Unable to fend for himself, he moved to where his parents were now living (they had tried to hide the new location to no avail) in Kansas City.
Twenty years later, the best he can do is manage the Weasels. Kind of depressing isn’t it.
Simply Weasels - The Band
A little over 10 years ago, Craig Simon, Norb Stracker, and Fred Canning started playing music together. In early 1999 the name "Simply Weasels" was chosen and the boys were well on the way to getting enough songs recorded to fill a CD. The marketing potential was great...family AND friends! In January of 2000, the Weasels finished their first CD, "All God's Creatures" named after the first track on the CD. Friends and family were delirious.
The Weasels first big break occurred in April of 2001 when the band sent a CD containing three of their automotive-related songs to the National Public Radio program "Car Talk.” Surprisingly, on April 14, 2001 the band's song, "Loose Wheel" was played. They were getting ready to produce a "Car Talk" CD and wanted to include "Loose Wheel.” In September of 2001, the "Car Talk" CD entitled "Car Talk Car Tunes Volume 1: The Car Talk Compendium of Disrespectful Car Songs" came out. The liner notes quote Tom and Ray Magliozzi (alias Click and Clack, the Tappet brothers), "(Loose Wheel)...may qualify as the most clever song in this collection. It certainly puts a smile on our faces every time we hear it...the tune generated more mail than every bogus answer we've given in the last five years.” To date the Car Talk CD has sold over 60,000 copies. In addition to Loose Wheel,” the Weasels have had their songs, Cruise Control" and "Oil" played on the show. Then, the Weasels began receiving requests for CD's from Central Iowa. Seems an NPR morning show personality in Ames had gotten a CD and had been playing "Chipmunk Blues" for his audience...and they responded! In mid-2001, Simply Weasels released their second CD entitled "Cruise Control.” Then last year, the Weasels released their most “sophisticated” CD, Chocolate Easter Bunny. This CD features highlights their musicianship along with their sense of humor.
It is common to find them once a month working on their songs, but very uncommon to catch a public performance. As in the studio, the boys are often accompanied by talented friends to play or sing additional parts on their songs. The Weasels are not only looking forward to playing songs from all three CD's, but also playing a few Weasel compositions that will likely never make it to CD, much less be performed in public again. All their current CD's will be available for purchase during their upcoming performances. Nichelle Unterreiner, John Backus, Mike Schard and Phil Chiarelli accompany Fred, Norb and Craig.
Simply Weasels describe their music as sometimes a little dirty, sometimes a little political, some of it is definitely parody, but most of the time it's just a lot of fun, dealing with common and unusual topics from real life. Each Weasel brings different strengths to the group. The three will agree that with a minimal amount of individual talent, great equipment, talented friends, a little cleverness and a tremendous amount of luck, Simply Weasels is one-of-a-kind. They have gotten all the way from Craig's basement to having their music played and distributed internationally, without a penny to show for their efforts! It sometimes makes them wonder why they've given themselves the slogan, "We're Better than We Sound".